BOO-YA!

 

It’s my most favorite time of year again–Halloween! I’ve decorated both inside and outside in a scary clown theme, inspired by the remake of Stephen King’s IT (worth seeing btw). Every time the young neighbor kids have to walk by my yard, the older girl shields her younger brother’s eyes and warns, “Don’t look at it.” Now that is “mission accomplished” in my book.

Each year I choose some costumes that go above and beyond. Behold my choices…

This costume scores big for ingenuity alone. I once had a boyfriend who called me his “little black raincloud” because black was my happy color and I was going through a phase where any jewelry I wore had to have snakes, spiders, or scorpions on it. This costume would have been perfect for me back then.

We all know pregnancy is no laughing matter, what with the feeling like you’re incubating an alien for 9 months of your life. So if you can find an ounce of funny in it, you’re a winner. This little guy wants out of his mommy, and no doubt she’s wishing the same: GET OUT, so I can see my ankles again!

This gem was in an article entitled “Questionable Costumes by Parents.” ?! The only questions I have are: How in the ever-loving hell do they walk? And, are you able to walk over to collect your First Prize ribbon?

Bonus points for any costume that involves swallowing something alive.

 

 

Lest you think I’m all dark and gore, these costumes triumph for cuteness overload.

The TAIL. haha (Don’t you just want to squeeze him for freshness?! I know I do.)

I get these sponges every year for Christmas. Never use them; they scare me. But on her it looks pretty damn cute.

This costume is definitely worth $.25 x the 476 balls stuck onto his/her coconut x the hours it took to hot glue those suckers. WIN.

 

Who knew these sponges were so popular?

 

 

 

 

 

And last but not least, my personal favorite–the cast from Bob’s Burgers. Extra points if they can do the annoying voices.

 

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

HALLOWEEN COSUMES FOR KIDS AND PETS THAT MAKE YOU GO OOH & HAH

It’s my most favorite time of the year–Halloween! I start planning for it November 1. And to celebrate, I thought I’d share some photos of animals and kids in costumes that are full of WIN. Are you ready?

This dog costume is one of my favorites this year because it literally transforms the cone of shame into something to be proud of–a martini. Because if you can drink more than, say, 3 martinis, that’s a feat to boast about. Of course, you may not remember what you do under the influence of 3 martinis, thus needing your own personal cone of shame the day after, but that’s for another post entitled “I wish I hadn’t gone home with ugly troll guy and other humiliating drunk stories”.

How freaking adorable are these M&M pugs? Don’t you just want to take a bite out of them? Just the tail, or maybe the head. Mmmm, chocolate…no, wait, they’re dogs…or are they? Mmmm, chocolate…

Any time you can actually put a costume onto a cat without getting your eyes scratched out , you’ve won. They look adorable in them, right? Of course there will be a price to pay for such cuteness. Never think for a moment cats won’t seek revenge by killing you in your sleep. You’ve been warned. Hey, and if you happen to only own a guinea pig, don’t despair. You can include him in the festivities, too. Just be careful if you own a guinea pig AND a cat. Or a guinea pig AND a snake (but that’s for another post entitled, “The time I left the lid off my boa constrictor’s cage by mistake and other mishaps by snake owners.”)

Okay, now this costume is a bit easier to manage with a cat because, well, it’s closer to their true nature so I’d like to think they’d secretly find it amusing, although they won’t show it. They may still kill you in your sleep, but that would only be because they’re secretly planning to take over the world. (You didn’t hear it from me.)

Need a costume for your baby in a pinch? Hungry for dinner? Solve both problems by getting takeout from Chipotle and wrapping the fruit of your loins in some gold wrapping paper. Make sure you take a picture of the cuteness immediately because my guess is that worm will squirm right outta that wrapping in the time it takes to say Boo.

For less than the cost of one of these drinks you can make this costume. In fact, I’ll bet having one of these ridiculously expensive drinks every day adds up to be more than the amount it costs to raise a child. Yes, I’m kicking myself for not buying Starbucks stock in the 90s, too.

What could be cuter than baby AND pet together in costumes? Besides the fact that baby looks like he can’t move his arms, which will royally piss him off in about 3.5 seconds, and dog looks like he’s planning to pee on your favorite shoes as soon as you turn your back on him, I’d say this is a raging success and will yield a buttload of trick or treating candy.

I’m sensing an overall theme in this post, which alerts me to the fact that I must be hungry and thirsty. How about you? Have you ever dressed your kid and/or pet up for Halloween?