About

I’m a college-educated, forty-something single mother of a teenage boy, living in the suburbs of Southern California. In the words of Grumpy Cat, “I hate it.” Where I live, that is. I’m the only single white mother for miles and miles around. Or at least the only one who’s not doing meth. (Trust me, if you’re familiar with this area, you’d know what I was talking about.)

I have never been one to live by the dictates of society: Go to college, get a job, get married, buy a house, have kids, go on vacation once a year, fall into a sexual rut with my spouse, have a mid-life crisis, have an affair, stay together for the sake of the children.

Nope, no status quo for me. I believe in following one’s dreams, always have. Of course, that path isn’t always easy.

I wanted to be a famous actress when I was younger. Perhaps I had the beauty and the talent to succeed, even if I didn’t realize it then. I was scoring acting jobs and honing my craft Off-Broadway, when at 26, I came down with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. CFS is like having Mononucleosis forever. It sucks. A lot. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t bitter about that. I switched to writing, because I still desperately needed to be creative, and well, when you’re exhausted all the time, you just can’t do seven shows a week and two on Sunday. So now I’m like the author, Laura Hillenbrand, who wrote Seabiscuit, except without the raging success.

I wrote my first novel, a YA contemporary, in 2000; my second novel, a romance, in 2008. After numerous rejections for both, I’m ecstatic to report that my romance, THE ACCIDENTAL COUGAR, was released by The Wild Rose Press on 11/23/12. As cynical as I seem about relationships, I adore romance and a “happily ever after.”

Contemporary Romance

Here’s my second published romance. Yay!

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So what the hell am I doing in the suburbs of San Bernardino County?  An anti-single parent environment, filled with mini-vans covered in stick-figure families and bumper stickers praising their kid’s accomplishments (although in the section of town where I live you just get your kids’ names tattooed on your neck); where every woman gets their nails done religiously and married men make passes at me, claiming their wives won’t sleep with them anymore (ugh!). Well, I moved to this area with my son’s father to be closer to my father and his family. My son was one at the time, and we both felt it was the right thing to do, which fucks me every time. My now-ex left me for his demons soonafter (Boy, was I in denial over hundreds of red flags) and a few years later, my dad threw me out of his house for looking at him the wrong way, which was really just an excuse for failing to live up to his expectations of me becoming a doctor or lawyer. I realize now how important it is for parents to be able to brag to their friends about how successful their children are. It makes them feel less of a failure. Anyhoo, now I’m banished from all things family, and am on my own without help from anyone. C’est la vie.

This is not a warm and fuzzy blog about the joys of single motherhood, the beauty of writing, or my quest to find “the One.” So if you’re looking for inspirational, touching stories and/or sage advice, I’d advise you to shield your eyes from my posts and google “I love my life,” instead. Trust me, this blog is not for the eternally optimistic, cheerful reader. It is simply my view of reality, albeit a biting and sarcastic one. If I don’t find the humor in my craptastic life, who will?

Oh, and I’m originally from Brooklyn, New York, so that really doesn’t help with my snarky attitude. Californians don’t get my sarcasm; they get insulted. And they always think I’m mad, when I’m simply excitedly expressing my opinions.

Btw, my favorite holiday is Halloween. I start planning for it on Nov. 1st. Here I am dressed as a black widow spider, with my son as a skeleton.

My favorite costume of all, but hands down, the most uncomfortable…Catwoman!

I’m not sure what the hell I am here.

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The diva and I as peacocks (because it’s so important to coordinate costumes with the dog).

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Thanks for stopping by. Please feel free to leave comments on my posts. I’m actually extremely gracious when answering them.

 

8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Cie
    Sep 01, 2011 @ 16:39:14

    I totally get what you mean since I was a single mom too. I wouldn’t eliminate a minute of raising my daughter by myself, but it weren’t easy, by golly gee!
    So I get what you mean, my daughter dear. Love and hugs, Mom

    Reply

  2. Marc
    Sep 28, 2012 @ 17:01:15

    Was out wandering looking at different blog sites for book reviews and stumbled across yours. Your material is quite funny. Ended up spending a lot more time here than I intended but it was worth the time. Enjoyed your list of real profiles for online dating. Have often thought it if men wanted to attract women online the following would work well.

    “Wanted in shape full figured woman who is willing to tolerate a man who is; broke, intolerant, overweight, has issues with gambling/porn/drugs/alcohol, and is willing to make him a priority.

    Could see 1/2 the women out there leaving their current partner for this as it’s better than what they currently have. The other 1/2 of women seeing the first 1/2 trying to snap this prize up would be next in line so they won’t miss out.

    Best of luck with your book and raising your son. Hope your Halloween is fun, like your taste in costumes.

    Reply

    • Tiffany N. York
      Sep 28, 2012 @ 20:24:56

      Thank you so much. Yes, hmmm, let’s remove “overweight,” and replace “gambling” with “debt,” and you have my ex. I consider myself a somewhat intelligent, self-aware woman, but not when it comes to men. Not really sure why. Maybe I was trying to prove to myself that I could stick it out; perhaps I was delusional in thinking he could change. Unfortunately, this ability of a lot of women to tolerate said crap from their SO makes us look like complete idiots.

      I’ve given up on online dating. Now when I feel the overwhelming urge to have a boyfriend, I just get another cat.

      Reply

  3. Marc
    Oct 01, 2012 @ 20:25:47

    You might want to reconsider your approach- giving up online dating may not be the wisest approach. The video below makes much more sense now, I knew there was a man involved somehow. Will use this in an upcoming post, hope you think it’s funny.

    Everyone is allowed one mistake or two.. Perhaps the real question is did you make a mistake or have a pattern?

    Reply

    • Tiffany N. York
      Oct 02, 2012 @ 11:09:59

      Whoa there, yes, perhaps I’ll rethink my approach! Can you imagine what her apartment smells like? I thought it was interesting she was in full makeup though. If I ever got to her point, I would think I’d appear rather disheveled and insane-looking.

      Before my ex I dated high-achievers. Men who put their careers before me. I think that’s why I was attracted to my ex. I wanted to be #1, and to feel needed. I was needed all right. He needed me to be his girlfriend, lover, mother, accountant, boss, sponser, housekeeper, cook, and bank.

      Reply

  4. Marc
    Oct 02, 2012 @ 16:15:53

    I think the fact she was on top of things is what made me like the video, otherwise it would have just been a sad case of another crazy cat woman. I actually think she does do it for humane reasons and I have to admit the place looks incredible, even as clean as it was I agree there would have to be an odor. A pretty incredible video, especially the feeding scene.

    Your situation seems to be quite common, there are plenty of women who go the other way as well. First time out they pick attentive but get tired of the poverty and problems so they then switch to high- achiever. I’ve got an idea I’d like to pitch to you but don’t want to take up your entire comment area. Send me an email and I’ll get back to you, looking forward to talking further.

    Reply

  5. MCLavocat
    Jun 03, 2013 @ 20:29:42

    Hey, I know this is totally random, but I have listed your blog as a nominee for The Leibster Award. If you aren’t familiar with it, it is a fun way to promote fellow bloggers. Here is a link to the post: http://wp.me/p3fYx8-aW

    Reply

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