FORGIVE ME FACEBOOK I’LL NEVER REVILE YOU AGAIN

Facebook
Awhile back I wrote a post calling Facebook the devil. I hated the insipid, superfluous crap people posted, everyone’s lives so seemingly perfect, not to mention my family’s posts and photos continually reminding me I’m the black sheep of the family, the outcast, liberal, artsy-fartsy freak, excluded from all gatherings.

I never went on Facebook all that much and I scoffed at the folks who seemed to be on it 24/7. Surely they had no lives, or they were avoiding conversation with their significant others, or possibly they were attention sluts, or having virtual affairs with rediscovered childhood sweethearts.

Then I took a social media class and my entire life changed. I decided to stick my big, fat toe into the sea of unabashed admission. Followed more authors, saw what they were doing. Began to go on FB every day. Tolerated it…then liked it…liked it more…and then…and then…I fell, and I fell hard. It was like a bright light had suddenly been switched on in my dark and bitter pessimistic soul. How could I have been so blind not to recognize Facebook’s magnificence sooner? Especially with me being such a visual person?

I discovered quirky pages, artistic pages, sexy pages, dark and twisted, sarcastic and bitchy pages—everything I am, I found within this social media framework. And I reveled in it all. I felt compelled to log in 5, 6, 7 or more times a day so I didn’t miss anything. The more pages I liked and people I followed, the lengthier my news feed. I’d like one page, and then 6 more suggestions would pop up for similar pages, so I’d gleefully click on them, and so on and so on. Hours slipped by as I interacted with other like-minded brethren. THIS is my culture; not my soul-less suburban nightmare of a town. I didn’t need to be around people. I got all the social stimulation I needed from postings less than a paragraph long.

The happier I was over my newfound love, the more magnanimous I became. I no longer roll my eyes at God quotes or inspirational garbage, or cute kittens because I have simply accepted them as insights into a person’s personality. And I have been known to post some inspirational garbage of my own, especially when it comes to love. (I am a romance writer, after all.) I show a glimpse of my warm and fuzzy side on my author page and on my personal one, I get to be the raunchy, sarcastic bitch that I truly am.

Not familiar with Grumpy Cat? George Takei’s page? Tattooed Mommy? You don’t know what you’re missing. There are pages out there with names like “Reading someone’s status and thinking ‘oh shut the hell up’” and “Thepenisinhermouth. I read it wrong the first time.” (Get it? Neither did I the very first time.)

“I fucking love science,” “You can Call Me Mistress,” and, wait for it…“50 Shades of Craptastic Grey.”

I am in fucking Facebook heaven.

Like it? Hate it? Tell me what you think of FB.

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Crazy. Kinda.
    Jun 20, 2013 @ 09:05:42

    Alas. I am a Facebook whore. I have it on my phone and Kindle and jump to check it anytime I get an alert. Now with the baby it’s obviously more status updates on how well we slept, did we throw up, how we hate our bath, etc., etc. Facebook was a good distraction when I was at work. Why crunch numbers when I can crunch candy in Candy Crush Saga. (Stupid game but highly addictive.) Gotta love Grumpy Cat, especially since she reminds me of my prissy, sarcastic Siamese.

    Reply

    • Tiffany N. York
      Jun 20, 2013 @ 11:57:11

      Grumpy Cat is my alter ego! It’s funny, because typically optimistic, positive, cheerful people tend to not like Grumpy Cat (not sayin’ you’re a grouch though…). Every time I post a Grumpy Cat, my stepmom comments, “Ugh, that cat is so ugly. I don’t like him,” and I always reply back: “That’s the beauty of Grumpy Cat. He takes pleasure in knowing this.”

      Reply

  2. Damien
    Jun 20, 2013 @ 12:08:15

    I very much enjoy Facebook. I love volleying with friends, posting blogs, and reading articles that friends post. I really do dig that and I think it’s a fun social environment…if it’s used reasonably.

    I don’t enjoy being out to dinner with a friend who has to ‘locate’ or ‘place’ us at some bar. I don’t need all of my FB friends knowing that I’m drinking with this lady, maybe I was trying to keep it a secret!

    But my biggest pet peeves are types of posts. When someone makes a plea for sympathy…it just reeks of desperation. I have one friend who thinks he’s a drunken philosopher, but he really just sounds like a buffoon. Another always makes these melodramatic ‘You don’t tell ME what to do, Cause I’m independent…” rants and when I see them I just want to comment – shut up and make me eggs.

    Overall, I agree with you that it’s a cool damn thing. And George Takei is AWESOME. I think Facebook is like a bar: everyone can have a great time, but there are some people in there who just don’t know how to act.

    If you like The Oatmeal you have to look at this, it will make you pee. I’m just going to say ‘mountain lion’…GO!

    http://theoatmeal.com/comics/facebook_suck

    Reply

    • Tiffany N. York
      Jun 20, 2013 @ 18:57:20

      I like “Which Backstreet Boy testicle are you?” I’m a chronic Liker on FB. I rarely comment on posts; I just go around liking everything.

      I love the people who simply make profound, inexplicable statements: “So sick of this pain.” “Excited over this amazing opportunity.” WTF???

      I’m warning you now that I’ve stalked you down and have sent you a friend request from my raunchy page. Actually, I’m really not that raunchy because I have romance author followers and I don’t want to offend their delicate sensibilities.

      Reply

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