I’M DREAMING OF AN XBOX CHRISTMAS

Cadeaux

It’s Christmas Eve, and I cannot wait for Christmas Day—if only to shut my son up about wanting an Xbox 360. For the entire month of December, I’ve heard nothing else from his mouth except how much he wants an Xbox so he can play the game, Minecraft. When he first heard about this game, he thought he could only play it on a computer.

“Absolutely not!” I told him. “You cannot download it onto my computer.” I kept imagining it eating up all my laptop’s memory like little Pac-men, or infecting it with a porn-like virus. I was however, excited he was interested in a game that didn’t involve blood and machine guns and swearing. So I brought my old laptop in to get fixed—the one that fell off the couch while my son was chasing the dog; yes, the one that stopped working the instant it hit the floor; and yes, the one I cried over when it happened.

This will be his Christmas gift, I told myself in November, since he’ll eventually need a laptop for school as well. But then we went to a friend’s house a few nights later, and their son was playing Minecraft on an Xbox. When we left their house that night, my son was like an over-excited boy who had already reached puberty and had just touched his first set of naked breasts.

“Wow! I can’t believe he has Minecraft on an Xbox,” he exclaimed. “Did you see that, Mom? Did you?” “Yup,” I mumbled. “It’s so much easier to play it on an Xbox than it is a laptop. I want an Xbox, Mom.”

“I don’t think so,” I said, and expected to never hear about it again. Ahaha, silly girl that I am! Little did I know every day from there on out, I would indeed, hear about it. I heard about my son wanting an Xbox at all hours of the day and night. “Guess what I dreamed about, Mom?” he’d ask first thing in the morning. “A laptop?” I’d say hopefully. “No, playing Minecraft on an Xbox.” “Guess what I’m going to dream about tonight, Mom?” “Puppies?” “No, playing Minecraft on an Xbox.”

And on and on it went.

His obsessive-compulsiveness kicked into high gear. “I sooo want an Xbox. Are you going to get me an Xbox, Mom? Mom?” He’d follow me into the bathroom, and I’d push him out and slam the door. “Mom?” he’d whisper at the door. “Can you at least think about getting me an Xbox 360 while you’re going to the bathroom?”

I tried to talk him out of wanting one; tried to convince him a laptop was way better, but it didn’t work. His steel-trap mind was set. Less than one week to go until Christmas, and I had a dilemma: Should I stick my son with a laptop he doesn’t really want, and risk seeing the disappointment on his face on Christmas Day—even though it may teach him a valuable lesson about life being full of disappointment? Or should I get him exactly what he wants even though I really can’t afford it, just to witness the sheer pleasure of seeing joy on my boy’s face, thus reinforcing the fact that he’s spoiled, always gets everything he wants, and has Mommy twisted around his little finger?

Do I need to tell you which way I went?

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Sam
    Dec 29, 2012 @ 14:05:42

    You are now starting to understand men and our obsession with women. There comes a point where we lack the ability to think of anything else. The Xbox 360 is just the starting point of your future challenges. Enjoy the peace while it lasts and being able to legally purchase the object of his affection… you might want to reconsider church attendance again. Hope your Christmas was a good one

    Reply

    • Tiffany N. York
      Dec 29, 2012 @ 20:57:34

      In all fairness, women are almost just as obsessed with men. What do you think we talk about when we get together with other women? But how do you men stay focused on building a career if you’re thinking about women all the time? Is it an either/or thought process? Forcing yourself to think about work all day and nothing else, or do you juggle the two thoughts simultaneously–like, Hmmm, look at that hot woman. Gotta get this report done. But I could really go for some sex right now. Work first, play later. Should I ask her out for later? Gotta call the boss first. But there could be sex later…my job comes first. No, wait, hmmm…

      Happy New Year!

      Reply

  2. Sam
    Dec 31, 2012 @ 23:32:09

    I think you are on the border of writing erotic material here, “women are almost as obsessed with men.”

    Men would love to think that there are women out there wandering around in the same sexually charged daydream that men are forced to endure. We actually are quite skilled at multitasking in this area. Keep in mind how long it takes us to reach our desired result and then fall asleep. Sample conversation.

    Woman, “Hello”
    Man, “Hello (I wonder what your v looks like) how are you (are you easy)?
    Woman, “I’m fine (what is wrong with me, why is he looking at me like that), how are you?
    Man, “I’m good too (but things could be a lot better if you would cooperate) see you later (time to go find a private place and replay this excellent mental footage I have acquired).
    Woman, “Okay… (why does it always end this way, what is wrong with me) I need to go also (go and binge eat while calling my sister so I can learn how messed up I am).

    The better conversation.

    Woman, Hello, are you available to have sex right now, I have an opening.”
    Man, “Uh, uh, uh, (is this a dude that looks like a really hot woman, how much have I had to drink already), nice to see you also.”

    I think the difference in how the genders look at things can be explained in our favored career choices. Not many women out there wanting to become a bouncer or bartender at a strip club, become a porn star, or andrologist. A Happy New Year to you as well. Keep up the good work.

    Reply

    • Tiffany N. York
      Jan 01, 2013 @ 20:10:51

      Excuse me, but there are plenty of women out there becoming porn stars…but they’re doing it for the money, not for the sexual satisfaction. (Don’t let their moaning fool you!)

      And your example of a “better” conversation is why younger men love older women–because we are direct like that, and we don’t beat around the bush. If we want to have sex with you, we’ll tell you (or show you). We won’t wait to be asked.

      I’m off to look up “andrologist” now.

      Reply

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