LABOR SHOULD BE A FOUR-LETTER WORD

Labor – a word we can all relate to, especially moms. My favorite quote from author, Jane Sellman is:

“The phrase, working mother, is redundant.”

You think? What I’d like to know is, How in hell do mothers
get everything done? Today is a holiday; but I still have a load of laundry
going, the bed needs to be made, dishes to be washed, the dog needs to be
walked, my son needs to be fed and, wait, did my cat really just throw up on
the carpet?

And that’s just the normal day-to-day stuff that takes me
all day to do. Squeeze in writing, which on some days only consists of a measly
comment made on a thread; research on the web for my writing (celebrity news
DOES count); the business of writing (sending out query letters, as well as
mentally recovering from the cold-hearted, rude form-letter rejections that a
monkey could write), and I’m left with NO TIME.

I don’t even have a husband to take care of. But I do have a
kitchen floor that used to be white, not to mention toilets; a shower that can
now be used as a science experiment; a car where people I don’t even know take
the time to write on it, “Wash me please!”; clothes needing to be ironed,
because the wrinkled look is just not cool on anything other than linen and,
wait, did my dog really just roll around in something dead?

Seriously, how do moms get all the extra stuff done? And by
extra I mean the heavy duty cleaning like taking care of mildew-ridden grout,
scrubbing off the bits of old food that have exploded in the microwave,
vacuuming under the couch cushions.

That’s only the home. What about OURSELVES? Mani/pedi? I
can’t keep my hands and feet still long enough for the polish to dry. Pulling
out my grays with tweezers is more time-efficient, and besides, admitting it’s
time for me to dye my hair on a regular basis is admitting I’m old. A wax nowadays
only refers to my linoleum, and those of us who sit at a desk all day for work
know how quickly certain parts of our bodies can spread. I believe it’s called
“office ass.”

So what ends up falling along the wayside? Do we forgo sex
to scrub the floors instead? Grow a unibrow because we’re so busy wiping down
the mirrors we don’t notice the caterpillar on the bridge of our nose? Realize
it’s time to stop eating at Taco Bell when the cashiers know us on a first-name
basis?

I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m
exhausted. And I don’t ever get half the crap I need to get done completed.
Happy Labor Day…

Advertisements

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. snowblondie
    Sep 06, 2011 @ 17:16:25

    I was laughing out loud while I was reading this! Its like Jenny McCartny funny! Say it how it is! Loved it!!

    Reply

  2. Tiffany N. York
    Sep 06, 2011 @ 20:37:31

    Thanks! I love her!

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: